Let’s talk about universal human dissatisfaction. Let’s enunciate the fact that people care about their own happiness too much sometimes to make sacrifices or go the extra mile to serve the happiness of another. Let’s admit for a second that none of us are truly happy enough with our own lives to give up an ounce of that for someone else’s. We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty. But are we ever going to reach a point where we put ourselves second? Where we look past ourselves and sacrifice a little? I’m not talking about spending a week in a township or volunteering to make sandwiches for a meet with the underprivileged. I’m talking about human to human, heart to heart sacrifice… True, sincere caring.
I’ve spent days trying to make peace with this and have concluded that there is just no getting around it. We live for ourselves and that is that. Someone upsets you, you walk away. Someone disappoints you, you walk away. Someone hurts you, you vent. And then you walk away. Because in the end, it’s all about self-preservation. If you’re not looking out for yourself, who will?
The other side of this conversation then goes to self-preservation… which we are all entitled to. I respect your need to care for your own happiness. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Stand up for yourself. Fight for what you want. I am all about sharing likes and dislikes to people’s faces. Leave people behind to serve your ideal. This is your life and you might as well be happy enduring it.
But then you meet these individuals who are the exact opposite of that. Parents, for one… My mother would totally sacrifice the last piece of cake for me. My dad would drive kilometers on end because I locked my keys in my car. Work their fingers to the bone to pay my university bills. I also recently met a lady who exhausted all options to help me achieve something that serves no gain for her at all. I don’t believe I deserve any of it. I didn’t do anything to gain her confidence or trust in me and yet her kindness fell onto my plate and I am filled to the brim with blessings. Maybe, now, it’s my turn to turn the tables. The random act of kindness ball just bounced into my court. I have no ball sense but I guess life sort of threw this responsibility into my face and I have to fulfill it. The hardest choice in this matter, I’d say, is deciding who I feel deserves it.
After all the disappointments I had with friendships and people in general throughout my short and tragic life, I am in all honesty at a loss for who deserves the joy ball. I could legitimately count the number of people who have done right by me on one hand. And then I’d probably have to cut off a finger too. Is that my fault because I’ve worried too much about myself, or is it yours for doing the same thing in your own life? Vicious circle?
Choose people who you know would sacrifice for you. Choose people who would endure your faults. People who would laugh with you about your shortcomings. Your lack of skill. Or your absolute failure in karaoke. Because those are the people you, yourself, would sacrifice for. You give what you get and you get what you give and the circle is infinite. Don’t settle for less. You know what you want and you know what you deserve. If you’re willing to do it for them, be sure to know they’d be willing to do it for you. That is where you will find your people.