It’s appalling that we have these moments of sheer hopelessness in which life seems to have no flames left to ignite. Moments when all that seemed good in the world is strangled through our attempts at grasping for contentedness. Moments when an escape seems more inviting than the supposed prosperous futures we are continually promised. Moments when these promises of bright summer mornings and never-fading happiness dissolve into the grey and motionless dust of a barren fire.
Sometimes we embark on some kind of adventure just to find that we immediately regret pursuing it. This weekend, I ran up a mountain with the idea that it’ll be worth it when I see the view from the top. It wasn’t. The pain in my legs, the shallow volume of my chest and the blisters on my feet manifested itself on my face in the form of irreversible lament. Like that time I went bungee jumping. The supposed freedom of falling 216 meters into the heart of a valley, combined with the rush of adrenaline and the intended epiphany of the beauty of life never really hit me the way I expected. Instead, it just felt like I was voluntarily jumping to my death. It felt a little like I was trying to escape from the everyday responsibility of being responsible. While being responsible.
There’s a tendency to get into the tumble drier of life and enjoy the warmth and comfort with your favourite clothes. But at some stage, the heat, the cramped discomfort and the relentless strikes of inexorable fervour start hurting in your bones. You start shrinking and your colour starts fading as you abuse this comfort. Some days you need to climb out of that tumble drier and take a good look at the neglected clothing enthusiastically staring at you from the back of the cupboard and the bottom of the pile. Give them a chance. They will most probably appreciate it more than any of your favourite items ever did. Maybe they’ll even compliment your eyes. Or emphasise the shine in your hair.
Because I believe that some days, you don’t need to go as far as searching for an adventure. Probing for new, exciting, exhilarating things won’t always get you the results you need. Connecting back with what you have forgotten to enjoy can bring you to the top of a mountain with an indescribable view – without you having had to run your ass off to get there.